Essence of Strong Relation

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After a long time, I’m writing back here because I was li’l busy. This article is also related to one of my family stress management case. However, I’m still engage in that case but up till now, I’ve learnt something new to share with you. Whenever we think that we are in true love relation with someone, mostly we are just pretend to be in true love relation. You may shock to read it or may be disagree with my statement, but it’s true…To be in a true love relation, is rare.

A very sweet couple met me few days ago. The Sir was complaining about the Ma’am that she don’t love him truly, while the Ma’am said, he is wrong. The Sir claimed that if she loves me truly then why I’ve complaints??? Now He has a point… Actually she was speaking true but the mistake was both of them to not maintain a balance relation. Both were in a true love relation but it was an unbalanced relation. Just for instance the Sir said; I feel like she don’t give me importance, on the other side the Ma’am said; I try to keep him happy and he is everything to me…

Well whatever the story we should consider the conclusion and results for our learning… The essence of a strong relationship is Balance in expression of emotions. I conclude the following pivotal points for a strong relation.

• ·         Never let your spouse to feel inferior to you in anyway. Discuss all the matters or at least the only matters which are making you blue and sad. Because, if you will not discuss such matters, your spouse will be worried to see you sad and may be your spouse will think that he/she is not so much capable to understand the matter or problem. So always discuss and never feel your spouse inferior in that way.
• ·         Just keep in your mind your spouse can be your best friend only if you make your spouse to feel like so.
• ·         Never just think to do, instead always try to do. It means; if you want to say “love you” to your spouse then say it rather than to keep in your mind. Our acts must depict our real emotions. Otherwise, if you love your spouse with a true heart and don’t say it, your spouse may feel opposite about your true emotions or may feel a one sided love matter.
• ·         Always respect and celebrate the success and ideas of your spouse. If you are not agreeing in anyway then give a suggestion as a kind adviser.
• ·         Never hesitate to share your smiles and sadness with your spouse. Discussions enhance trust and loyalty. Keep remember, most of the love relations end just due to communication gap or to not make discussions. Always have a “Be Real, Be Clear” strategy. Whatever you feel or think about your spouse discuss it with your spouse. It would be help to avoid confusion and tension.
• ·         The most important thing is to control your emotions logically. Some time you seem to be a loving one but your spouse getting irritate. Understand the situation or routine of your spouse, never make unreal expectation to him/her.

Always remember when relationship is weak, the simple words like; Thank you, Sorry, Welcome, Good Bye, and No problem, make a big difference. But when the relationship become strong the words like; Shut up, Get lost, Nonsense, Idiot or even Go to Hell, will not have any impact... It's the beauty of strong relation. A strong relation starts with the two brave people, ready to sacrifice anything for one another. But fall in love with someone who does not make you think that Love is Hard... 

Well, have a happy life… :)

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What Should I Do For Best??? Need Your Suggestion Please!

As  my nature and my job requirements oblige me to serve the community in a sustainable way, I have to meet with different people from different communities having different social and moral values. Therefore, I feel the need to study the social psychology to make more efficient my work. As I’m the motivational speaker and career counselor in a project named; Agri. Education Lecture Series. I’ve to face many different and some time harsh or miserable conditions of students. Particularly in the southern areas of Punjab, Pakistan, where the most areas are undeveloped having lack of advance educational system. Students have not the proper career counseling facilities. In fact, most of the students don’t know what to do after Secondary School Certification. They don’t know, which discipline would be the best for their future? And what is their passion for? Due to such dilemmas, usually they select a wrong discipline and show the poor progress. They also have the social and economical pressure from their family and community.

In the selection of wrong study discipline for the career, the major role is played by the parents and teachers. For example, parents pressurize their child to be a doctor or engineer while the child has the passion for the arts or music. Then how can we expect a sound and successful future for the child. The teacher is said to be good teacher only if he/she prepare a student for the fulfillment of the hope and expectations of their parents. This thing makes the education sector a business in which most of the talent has spoiled and this way is so on…

I deal such students having low self esteem and a mistaken ambition or unaware about their passion or specialty. With blessings of God Almighty, I’ve a history of successful cases. Some time I’ve to deliver a lecture to the parents and teachers to discover the hidden talent of the students.

Deal Logically

Well, after a long time… I think! It’s going to almost a year that I’d posted my experiences. O’ I know that; I’m not a celebrity you waiting for. But blogging is some kind of meditation for me, it could be for anyone. During all this time I observed and faced many adorable and disgust circumstances and the life simply continues… But all of those were experiences. I’m going to li’l bit share with you.

Emotions…! My dear friends, these are emotions, make our lives delightful or disgust. Can we control them??? Yes! Of course, But most of us, actually a big number don’t pay a little attention to it. According to recent studies it has been proved that emotions are contagious. For instant, if you join the company of good people, you feel lighthearted and energized. If you have a spouse of bad or sad in attitude, it will make you sad or feel bad. Actually we are emotion contagions for each other. Our brains reflect the emotional state of one another. It is not empathy but just like that. However it is strong enough to disturb our body and mental chemistry either positively or negatively.

The good thing is that we can make our lives successful and comfortable by controlling the emotions “logically”. As I’m so called “Non Certified”, therefore, I’m going to avoid technicalities. A person is more stable mentally, who is more logical to its relations and social life, comparatively healthier, happier and comparatively have long lifespan than a person, who don’t deal its relations and social life logically. But what does logic mean…? Logic is the reasoned and reasonable judgment of all aspect of a living being’s life and its surroundings. Now let me brief you, how can we control our emotions logically?

Whenever you meet a person, your brain starts to work and analyze the personality of that person consciously or unconsciously. Before your brain receives the reflection of emotions just think for a while that; is it important for you to take analysis? If it is…then how much is important? Avoid over thinking and produce strong positive pulse of attitude. For instant, meet someone with warm heart and a sweet smile. If you dislike a person, whom which you are going to meet occasionally then do it more properly. And assume that your positivity will check the reflection of incompatible emotions. Actually it’s a mental trick according to which you just alter or advance your focus. It may be possible a person in anger probably more positive in calm situations than you but matter is to avoid the effects. Pay attention to anyone as much he/she deserves. Don’t make huge expectations in all aspects of your life as expectation is initials of disturbance and one of the major causes of weakening the relations. Don’t react abruptly, just think over the matter and conditions for a while with cool mind. I don’t want to write a technical and extensive note. Just keep in your mind;

There is a simple key to react logically to understand, what is really important and beneficial for you and others.

Although the limits of logic and selfishness are too close to confused but important thing is to keep in your mind that if your logic smells like selfishness then it’d not be a true logic. For this purpose make sure the self jurisprudence. So be careful and deal logically for a successful life.                  

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AVOID THE TOP 10 BIGGEST BRAIN DAMAGING HABITS

According to world health organization following are such habits that will damage your brain severely:

1. No Breakfast – People who do not take breakfast are going to have a lower blood sugar level. This leads to an insufficient supply of nutrients to the brain causing brain degeneration.

2. Overreacting – It causes hardening of the brain arteries, leading to a decrease in mental power.

3. Smoking – It causes multiple brain shrinkage and may lead to Alzheimer disease.

4. High Sugar consumption – Too much sugar will interrupt the absorption of proteins and nutrients causing malnutrition and may interfere with brain development.

5. Air Pollution – The brain is the largest oxygen consumer in our body. Inhaling polluted air decreases the supply of oxygen to the brain, bringing about a decrease in brain efficiency.

6. Sleep Deprivation – Sleep allows our brain to rest. Long term deprivation from sleep will accelerate the death of brain cells.

7. Head covered while sleeping – Sleeping with the head covered increases the concentration of carbon dioxide and decrease concentration of oxygen that may lead to brain damaging effects.

8. Working your brain during illness – Working hard or studying with sickness may lead to a decrease in effectiveness of the brain.

9. Lacking in stimulating thoughts – Thinking is the best way to train our brain, lacking in brain stimulation thoughts may cause brain shrinkage.

10. Talking Rarely – Intellectual conversations will promote the efficiency of the brain.

Future activity prediction from human brain activity

Future activity prediction from human brain activity

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Sixth sense is everywhere in the body

You may amaze yourself sometimes with the ability of knowing future beforehand; Research

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Should love follow the logic?

Friends! Obviously you listen and also say; I love you dear or I care you etc. Such dialogues really give calm and comfort to us whenever someone says it to us. No doubt, usually it’s a beautiful moment. According to me, most of the people around the world don’t know the real meaning of love and care.

Okay! I’ve a li’l question for you. Why do we feel  irritation sometime due to someone’s lovely and caring emotions?

Have you any answer?

Now try the next one. Why do you think sometimes that it’s just you, who continuously give scarifies to keep happy your loved one?

I really appreciate your spirit. May God bless you for your good deeds. Now I’m going to tell a little story as a simple example. Read it carefully please!

That was a cold and silent evening of winter. A farmer was coming back to his home from the fields. He was a poor man and he lived with his son (his son was a young and strong personality) in a small hut. He found a passenger on his way. Due to so much cold the passenger unable to keep on the journey. He requested to farmer for shelter. The farmer was a kind person, he took him to the home. After dinner, at the time to sleep, the farmer got worried due to the unavailability of a spare blanket for guest. He decided to give his blanket to guest for a night. His son said; “Papa! Would you mind, if I give my blanket to guest because I’m not a child now. I can easily spend the colder night than you as you are an old man”. The farmer said; “My son! How can a father sleep all the cold night in such a condition that he covered with a blanket and his beloved son spend all the night without blankets? My dear son! You should keep the blanket for you, I would manage”. The son couldn’t give any answer and obey his father. So the farmer slept all the night with comfort because his son was sleeping in the blanket and the son couldn’t sleep as his old father was sleeping in a cold night without any blanket.

Now I’m going to make a conclusion. The entire story is about relation of love and care between a father and a son. But can you reply me that, what kind of this love and care which does not make any logic and sense?

I think its selfishness of a father to get comfortable, because in the relation of love and care you have to care about the comfort of your loved one logically. In a bird's eye view, the above story, describes the obligation of a son and the love of a father for his son. But sorry to say; it’s not a lovely story my friend. I’m not pointing out a specific personality behavior. I just want to make you pay attention as we have to face such a story and themes in our real social life. I don’t want to impose my thought on you.

I just want to say that, please! Love logically and care someone with a sense.

Now at the end of this discussion, what do you think about so called lovely and caring emotions around you? Just change it with your real lovely and caring behavior.

Are You Human being?

Hi Friends! I hope you are in good spirit. I’ve a simple question for you, Are You Human? I know, this question is so strange but the question is not important. The important thing is that; why did I ask such a strange question?

So! What do you think?

Okay! I make it easy for you. Few days ago, I visit a public library named QUID-I-AZAM LIBRARY. This well known library is situated in Lahore, Pakistan. For reading something new I chose an old booklet related to psychology subject. The booklet was first published in Egypt and afterword translated in to Urdu language, named; “Shaoor aur La’Shaoor” i.e. “Conscious and Unconscious”. I just read the preface and close it. It really struck my brain badly. The few lines of preface are given below for you;

“It is the nature of a human that he doesn’t accept anything without any evidence. A human must be a keen observer and after overcoming or satisfaction of his skeptical approach, he accepts the reality of anything.”

These few lines from the preface. Now! What do you conclude from above statements? When I observe in my surroundings, I found the lack of this humanly nature. Now a day’s people conclude the result without any required observation. Most of people don’t get the headache to know the real situation but they still conclude the result. Even if we talking about a family relation or family stress management, might be you felt that all discussion among family depend on the activity done by a child or any family member which creates the problem or don’t give the appropriate solution. Instead of this, they should talk about the reason of that activity which is done. It’s a common behavior owned by most of people.

For example, in a break up case, people seldom think that what would be the real and rational cause of break up. If you observe then you must feel that most of the people around you conclude without any rational reason. I can give many examples for my theory but I want that you observe with yourself because you can do anything within the limit of a human being but unfortunately, we don’t know our limits. 

“The lack of keen observation is the base of inhumanly deeds”. We must careful about observations at the time of decision, conclusion and dealing in all social aspects.

No doubt it is one of the basic and vital element of a human being.

Now give me the answer; Are You Human?

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It doesn’t mean you’re crazy –- talking to yourself has cognitive benefits, study finds

You can do it!

Few days ago! I experienced a very harsh situation by synchronizing some young personalities. Usually youngsters are thought to be the full of energy to done any job and having optimistic spirit to fix any problem. But my experienced was totally against all these. Now I’m going to clear it. Many of the youngsters around me having useless thoughts and have an idea that they can’t do some thing productive or new because they have not resources for it and proper support. There society doesn’t allow them to do some thing productive.

The question is that, where is the young spirit? Where is the young one who builds his place in the society without any support of society? There is not need to be supported by any member of society. Here is the GOD, who supports you if you have a sound and positive idea.

My dear, boys and girls! You can do any thing, in any circumstances. It dose not matter, what’s the situation in your surrounding. If You think you're not pretty? Someone is wishing to be pretty as you. You want more money? People are in poverty. You're hungry? A child is starving. You're chilly? Others are frozen. You just want to die? Most people are striving to live. Don't waste your time on things that you think you don't have because there is always someone out there who needs all that you have. You are not a common one. I don't want to give examples from history. All boys are super man and all girls are wonder girls. Now the question is that, how can you do any thing you want? There is a simple answer, just explore yourself. If any door is closed this is a hurdle in your path of success. Don’t worry! If there is one door closed then finds the other one because you can’t be stop. And please! Don’t give up.

Probably, I could not deliver my opinions and suggestions to you properly. But one thing I know about you, IF YOU WANT, AND THEN YOU CAN CHANGE ANY THING…BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT A COMMON PERSONALITY. JUST RISE AND GO AHEAD……      

What's the problem?

Hey Friends!

I hope, all of you are in good spirit. Do you know, why I start blogging in such a way? wait a minute, I'm going to tell you the reason.

From many years I'm the student of Philosophy, Psychology and Sociology. In my typical words, from many years I'm the student of Humenology. I study this subject as nature teach me, directly or indirectly. I observed that a lot of people are suffering from the problems and number of problems are created by them. The humorous thing is that; most of them blame the situation or other person. I'm here talking about all types of problems, a human face in his life. If we calculate the percentage of real problems than the results are so awesome. you would surprised to know it that; in the life 8-10% problems are real problems, while other 90-92% problems are just created by you.

So my dear! If you want to solve your problems as you face in your common life, please! first question to yourself that; is it the real problem? (real problem is that for which you are not responsible.) if it is... than get help to your friends, family members and if you need, than go to a psychologist or a medical practitioner. Its not bad to call some one for help.

Actually! when you are questioning to yourself simultaneously you are finding the solution of your problem. During questioning to yourself, you become aware about the basics and reasons of your problem and when you know about the reason of any thing, it become easy to handle it. And you would also come to know that either your problem is real or just created by you.

So please! just question to yourself as you are seeing a film in which a person has a problem and you suggest solution for him. My friend! just explore yourself. You are not a simple one and you are not a common personality.

OK buddy! its time to go. See you next time... and if you have any problem, you can freely discuss with me. Its clear that I'm not a professional one but I would made attempts to calm you. (INSHA'ALLAH)

With a lot of best wishes and blessing of GOD see you next time...thank you!

(ALLAH HAFIZ)